Health, sickness and death are among the many aspects that make up human life, and ones that exert significant impact on individuals, families, and society at large. And while dealing with these forces as part of their calling, medical personnel come across a wide range of human behaviours and emotional reactions. Our conceptualisations of health , disease and bereavement have strong linkages to our cultural and religious backgrounds, our educational and economic status, as well as the familial and social norms that we abide by, and these are what determine our responses when confronted with difficult situations.
An ailing person at the height of their pain and suffering, may long for family support and care, and in families with good ties and norms, these will be offered automatically without being asked for. But when the illness becomes prolonged or complicated, demands in terms of time, commitment and money consequently increase, and when family members have difficulty in fulfilling these, there is an outpouring of emotions: unhappiness, helplessness, irritation, impatience, denial, anger, and frustration, among others. And most commonly at hand to encounter these emotional outbursts on the part of patients’ family members are the medical professionals involved in the care of their patients. Of course, not all families are the same, and the responses vary depending on people’s ages and backgrounds. We should not be judgmental about these behaviours and expressions—there are, after all, no absolute right or wrong responses in such situations.
In case of very sick, seriously-ill patients, following an initial phase of denial—wherein loved ones are reluctant to accept the seriousness of the condition—which could last from a few hours to a number of days, most families tend to accept it and then actively participate in the decision-making process. They start working together with the treating team to help cure, care, and reduce the patients’ suffering. Patients from such families do better and recover faster, or, if suffering from terminal illnesses, are comparatively more comfortable and able to pass away peacefully. On the other hand, there are some families who are unable to emerge out of the denial phase for much longer periods, and in that time, entirely lose faith in the treating team and are plagued by a sense of guilt, eventually losing control and behaving inappropriately. All these factors can hamper the recovery process directly or indirectly. Such families and family members require support and proper counseling, but this fact is seldom realised and rarely addressed.
Good treatment does not always translate to expensive medicines, or to the use of sophisticated treatment modalities or the latest medical innovations. The treatment one can afford in given circumstances, after weighing the pros and cons of the various options available, can be the best treatment—if pursued with good faith and positivity. Such an approach would alleviate the feeling of guilt even if, by some misfortune, the patient doesn’t make it, because one will come to learn over the process that no single treatment option is 100 percent effective, or entirely free of adverse effects. The most important thing is to keep our ailing loved ones happy, pain-free and stress-free for as far as possible. Even the sickest of them all will internalise any unease they might sense on the part of their family members, which may cause them to feel very helpless and even depressed, which could hamper the healing process even further. Healing, after all, is not always the same as being cured; for some diseases or conditions in which a cure is not possible, love, care and support could work wonders in keeping patients cheerful and at peace. Positive thinking is therefore a key factor in the healing process, and if family members are able to adopt such an approach, sick and even terminally-ill patients will benefit from it—positivity is a contagious thing. Showing a positive, optimistic outlook is often the strongest motivation families can offer their sick loved ones to get better.
Dr Shrestha is the Chair of the Department of Paediatrics at Patan Hospital and Professor of Paediatrics at the Patan Academy of Health Sciences.
Sources: The kathmandu post
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